My life has been a combination of wins and losses. Maybe that isn't how most view life but I do. Perhaps the reason is because I have had so many of both. The wins have been sweet, as most wins are; the losses have been bitter, painful, and unforgettable. I might have said the wins have been unforgettable too, but the truth is, I am the only one who remembers the wins in my life. Most people may celebrate a win with you but they quickly forget them. They are too busy remembering the wins in their own lives....because they are the only ones who do. They are the only ones who can keep their wins alive.
Losses however are different. They are unforgettable because in many ways, they affect the lives of other people. The innocent become recipients of pain they didn't ask for or deserve. In my case: lost jobs, DUI's, failed marriages, loss of reputation, of dignity, of self-esteem, estrangements from people close and dear to me. By God's grace, some of those relationships are healing; some of them are gone forever. The only thing I can do is pray healing can continue and will take its course. I see the highway of my life littered with losses.....funny how the wins pale in comparison. That to me is why losses are different.
The biggest result is the emptiness loss creates. It's like walking around with a hole in your heart all the time. The regret only makes the hole seem larger. Nothing it seems can fill it. It's an emptiness that goes beyond empty. This emptiness is accompanied by deep sadness and many tears. The worst....is the hopeless feeling that no one else can possibly understand the pain.....you feel totally alone, all alone. You desperately desire to be understood but being misunderstood is your only reality. Charcoals and greys and blacks are the only colors to your life. Rainbows of color bursting through in your life aren't even imagined, you can't wrap your mind around that possibility. What a sad, bleak existence. And many in this world live in that world every day.
Some losses are temporary. Loss of finances can eventually be turned around. The loss of a state championship game is replaced by the hope of a winning season the coming fall. A lost job can be replaced with a new, more exciting, and higher paying one. Other losses, on the other hand, are longer lasting. In the area of love for instance, when a boy meets the one who should have always been....and because of fear pushes her away and loses her, or circumstances keep them apart.....that loss is difficult to walk through. It is a loss that stays with you for a long time, perhaps forever. Regardless, losses affect all involved.
But I can't end this article on such a dark note. Losses bring something else to light. They bring out the tenacious spirit that God put in us all. Losses given to God do and will make us stronger people. They help us plan ahead more intelligently, if lessons are learned. I am not satisfied with staying down when I fall. There is something deep within me that keeps me hoping that the day ahead will be better than the current one. I fight, I always fight...I won't lie down and die, I can't. This spirit of a fighter is what carries me into tomorrow, and His hope within me keeps me moving. He knows my heart...... perfectly. When others around me see failure, He doesn't give up or in. He is crazy about me and wants me to overcome in and through Him. I must admit, at times I simply make a faith statement of overcoming because I'm not sure I can do it......but I continue to hope in Him. You know, sometimes there is nowhere else to go.....and that often is the best place to be....nowhere to go but to Him.
Romans 8:28, a familiar verse to us all...... "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." -NLT. I have to take that verse on faith most of the time, because I don't believe it sometimes, and certainly don't live it. Yet.... I look at my life and see that verse portrayed again and again. I am grateful, even when I don't always see Him working, He is.....in my life....working....always. He is working in yours as well. Wins or losses.....He works to give a future and a hope.
My prayer is that you can look at my hurts, hang-ups, and habits.....and see hope....It is there...always.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Saturday, December 26, 2009
I'm No Superman
One of my earliest childhood memories is me in a Superman suit "flying around" saving damsels in distress and the world from impending destruction. I think I may have been around four or five. I may have been twenty-five because I've had so many tell me I never grew up...that may be true....Anyway, I loved pretending to be the "big guy"! And only one who could save the day better than him was me.
To this day I love Superman and wish I had just a touch of his invulnerability. Because the "S" on his chest is also the beginning letter of my last name, I always thought of him as a relative from a distant planet. Believe me if you met some of my relatives you would think they came from a distant planet or two!....so Superman wouldn't be any different....just more sane. I'm sure some of my relatives would fall into the bizarro category.
Superman is the ultimate superhero. Always fighting for truth, justice, and the American way (that's because his rocket ship landed in America, if it landed in say...Korea, would he fight for the Korean way?....just asking). Everything he does is right and with just cause. His motivation is without prejudice, and it isn't tainted by selfish gain. His first thought is others....their well being, their safety, their quality of life. There are no grey areas in his thinking when it comes to decerning right from wrong. I always wondered how he pulled that off. Maybe his thinking is as invulnerable as his strength.
He is a figure that is recognized the world over. A super-icon if you will. And what he represents is known the world over as well. Superman is the ultimate perfect man in a totally imperfect world. The world needs a man like that, a superman if you will.
At age 6, after I jumped off a chicken barn in Arkansas thinking I could fly like Superman, I fell head first into a cow patty below.....at that point, I began to re-think growing up and becoming the next Superman. I discovered, and painfully so, that I couldn't defy gravity. Reality is this.....if you jump off the roof of a chicken barn in Arkansas, the only direction you go is down....all the way to the ground....and that could cover you in cow crap. So with that reality, I also discovered that I wasn't invulnerable...if you cut me with a knife I bleed.
As an adult I know first hand that I am flawed. Invulnerability is not a word you could use to describe me at all. I have so many grey areas in my thinking and lifestyle it is difficult to see any color. I am weak, frail, and proned to stumble when I try to walk the straight and narrow. Sometimes my world crumbles and I crumble with it. I know I can't do life on my own. I need something to give me hope, to keep pressing on, to get up when I fall, to rebuild my world when it falls apart.
Left to myself, I make bad decisions, I rebel against the rules, I go my own way and fall away from the path that brings life. What is it I need? Superman draws his strength from the yellow sun. If he is exposed to his only weakness, kryptonite; all he has to do is fly toward the sun and his strength returns. All I ever got from the sun was a sunburn, so I know that won't work for me.
I need something in my life that doesn't condemn me when I fail. Something that whispers encouragement to get up and keep going when I fall. Something that spares me from what I truly deserve and perhaps lavishes on me what I don't deserve. I know what that something is.....it's called grace. I need grace. All imperfect people need grace. It is the only way as I see it, to get by, to keep going. It is the thing that keeps me from throwing in the towel when I want to quit, when I want to scream,"I'm done!"
The purest grace, the only grace worth experiencing comes from just one source: God. He sent His son, only son, to do for us what we could not ever attempt to do for ourselves....forgive our sin and allow us entrance into the presence of God. It took a divine grace to accomplish that. For God to look on his rebellious creation and love them anyway and then go out of his way to restore relationship with them is grace, it is all of grace. Him giving us what we don't deserve and sparing us from what we do.
I'm no superman. I'm just a guy that tries to get through each day with some sense of purpose and accomplish what I believe I need to do. His grace in me allows for the possibility of doing that. If I stumble, His grace encourages me to keep going. If I succeed, it is because of His grace. It is all Him and none of me. I kind of like it like that....takes the pressure off a little bit.
I pray that this grace I have experienced will spill out of me and onto others around me. I am selfish so I have to be aware of others. But there are others around me who haven't experienced the grace of God I have. They need to know. They need to be shown. The best way for them to discover God's grace for them is to see it demonstrated in me.
How about you? Not feeling like superman? No worries. God has provided something for us normal humans to get by.....His grace. Experienced it? Demonstrated it? Given it away? The only ones who can spread it around are the ones who've got it. Start sharing.....
To this day I love Superman and wish I had just a touch of his invulnerability. Because the "S" on his chest is also the beginning letter of my last name, I always thought of him as a relative from a distant planet. Believe me if you met some of my relatives you would think they came from a distant planet or two!....so Superman wouldn't be any different....just more sane. I'm sure some of my relatives would fall into the bizarro category.
Superman is the ultimate superhero. Always fighting for truth, justice, and the American way (that's because his rocket ship landed in America, if it landed in say...Korea, would he fight for the Korean way?....just asking). Everything he does is right and with just cause. His motivation is without prejudice, and it isn't tainted by selfish gain. His first thought is others....their well being, their safety, their quality of life. There are no grey areas in his thinking when it comes to decerning right from wrong. I always wondered how he pulled that off. Maybe his thinking is as invulnerable as his strength.
He is a figure that is recognized the world over. A super-icon if you will. And what he represents is known the world over as well. Superman is the ultimate perfect man in a totally imperfect world. The world needs a man like that, a superman if you will.
At age 6, after I jumped off a chicken barn in Arkansas thinking I could fly like Superman, I fell head first into a cow patty below.....at that point, I began to re-think growing up and becoming the next Superman. I discovered, and painfully so, that I couldn't defy gravity. Reality is this.....if you jump off the roof of a chicken barn in Arkansas, the only direction you go is down....all the way to the ground....and that could cover you in cow crap. So with that reality, I also discovered that I wasn't invulnerable...if you cut me with a knife I bleed.
As an adult I know first hand that I am flawed. Invulnerability is not a word you could use to describe me at all. I have so many grey areas in my thinking and lifestyle it is difficult to see any color. I am weak, frail, and proned to stumble when I try to walk the straight and narrow. Sometimes my world crumbles and I crumble with it. I know I can't do life on my own. I need something to give me hope, to keep pressing on, to get up when I fall, to rebuild my world when it falls apart.
Left to myself, I make bad decisions, I rebel against the rules, I go my own way and fall away from the path that brings life. What is it I need? Superman draws his strength from the yellow sun. If he is exposed to his only weakness, kryptonite; all he has to do is fly toward the sun and his strength returns. All I ever got from the sun was a sunburn, so I know that won't work for me.
I need something in my life that doesn't condemn me when I fail. Something that whispers encouragement to get up and keep going when I fall. Something that spares me from what I truly deserve and perhaps lavishes on me what I don't deserve. I know what that something is.....it's called grace. I need grace. All imperfect people need grace. It is the only way as I see it, to get by, to keep going. It is the thing that keeps me from throwing in the towel when I want to quit, when I want to scream,"I'm done!"
The purest grace, the only grace worth experiencing comes from just one source: God. He sent His son, only son, to do for us what we could not ever attempt to do for ourselves....forgive our sin and allow us entrance into the presence of God. It took a divine grace to accomplish that. For God to look on his rebellious creation and love them anyway and then go out of his way to restore relationship with them is grace, it is all of grace. Him giving us what we don't deserve and sparing us from what we do.
I'm no superman. I'm just a guy that tries to get through each day with some sense of purpose and accomplish what I believe I need to do. His grace in me allows for the possibility of doing that. If I stumble, His grace encourages me to keep going. If I succeed, it is because of His grace. It is all Him and none of me. I kind of like it like that....takes the pressure off a little bit.
I pray that this grace I have experienced will spill out of me and onto others around me. I am selfish so I have to be aware of others. But there are others around me who haven't experienced the grace of God I have. They need to know. They need to be shown. The best way for them to discover God's grace for them is to see it demonstrated in me.
How about you? Not feeling like superman? No worries. God has provided something for us normal humans to get by.....His grace. Experienced it? Demonstrated it? Given it away? The only ones who can spread it around are the ones who've got it. Start sharing.....
Monday, November 9, 2009
Hold Me Jesus
I have always been one resistant to following a checklist of rules. I don't like others telling me how to live my life......(I think the reason I don't like others telling me how to live my life is because most who "help" me could use a little help themselves.) I haven't always gone the way of the crowd and there have been times I have paid dearly for it. There have also been times when going the other way has paid off handsomely. I am not talking money (like most do), but I'm talking about keeping the "me" God created in tact. There are myriad of victories and defeats logged on the pages of my life. Some of them I understand and some I won't ever understand this side of Heaven. But they are there and they have all contributed to making me the "me" I am.
I am not terminally unique though...many reading this can say the same of themselves. I think what I am talking about here is learning to live life in a state of surrender. And I hate the word surrender. Makes me feel I am giving in; conceding to something less than I thought I would live. Makes me feel I am trying to live up to someone else's ideal of how I should live, (God help the poor soul who vocally "helps" me with my life)......and I rebel.
There are probably some in my world who look at me as a bit of a black sheep. "Every family has one", they think. Maybe they are right. Nonetheless, I am here and I am resistant to change and I still hate the word surrender. What is God to do?! Do I make Him so mad His hair hurts?! Am I one step away from being zapped into infinity? Is God looking to "do me in"? I don't think so. Here's why:
I live a life in a transparent bubble...at least as far as God is concerned. The bubble keeps me from ever hiding from God. He sees me perfectly, He knows me perfectly, He acts perfectly in my life. He knows my thoughts before I think them. He knows what I am going to do before I do it. He knows the results after the fact. This really makes resistance futile with God. But still, I do play games with Him like I play games with everyone else.....kind of dumb when you think about it. I should have been a masquerade king. Never been to one of those parties; but could have fit in easily. I can change masks at the snap of a finger. I promise you....no one could ever figure who I am. I am a master at wearing masks. Guess I never have done those parties because for me, they seem boring. .... I have a short attention span and on top of that, it is all about me. I am sure no one else is cursed with that.....you know, being all about you.
With all the mask wearing and all the effort to cover up...I get lost in me and I get lost with others. Sadly, I get lost with God. The last thing I want to do is get lost with God and with those who care about me. But I still have this tendency to isolate and hide from everyone. A surrendered lifestyle is offensive to me. I want to be in control, I want to call my own shots. Yet I know when I allow Him to call the shots, He knows best and all works for the best. So why do I resist so much? Because I am a fighter. Life has trained me to be so and yet; He wants me to surrender. His plan is perfect and giving myself to that is the least path of resistance, but yet, I fight. Hard to let go of control even when you know you are guiding a sinking ship.
How has He dealt with me? With love and patience. I think of my daughter when she was an infant. She had colic. Never understood colic just knew the result. I would hold her in my arms as she writhed in pain and cried and screamed in pain. Tears would roll down my face because I wished it was me in pain and not her.....yet, I held her and that is all I could do.
When I get resistant to God, He does the same.....He holds me as I writhe against the pain I am feeling...even though I don't understand it. I realize He does. That's why He continues to hold me, patiently and lovingly. And I kick and scream and He holds me tight. He understands when no one else could. He doesn't give up when others would.....He just holds me....and I am grateful. What a mess I would truly be if God ever stopped holding me.
Perhaps you feel the same....you are resistant to change, you are a rebel, you don't like others telling you how to live your life....you hate the word: surrender. Let me assure you....He holds you, even when you writhe and wiggle to get loose of His grasp. He never lets go. You are precious to Him, and at your worst.....He holds on tighter.
So "hold me Jesus cause I'm shaking like a leaf....You have been King of my Glory, won't you be my Prince of Peace". (words borrowed from Rich Mullins' Hold Me Jesus)
I am not terminally unique though...many reading this can say the same of themselves. I think what I am talking about here is learning to live life in a state of surrender. And I hate the word surrender. Makes me feel I am giving in; conceding to something less than I thought I would live. Makes me feel I am trying to live up to someone else's ideal of how I should live, (God help the poor soul who vocally "helps" me with my life)......and I rebel.
There are probably some in my world who look at me as a bit of a black sheep. "Every family has one", they think. Maybe they are right. Nonetheless, I am here and I am resistant to change and I still hate the word surrender. What is God to do?! Do I make Him so mad His hair hurts?! Am I one step away from being zapped into infinity? Is God looking to "do me in"? I don't think so. Here's why:
I live a life in a transparent bubble...at least as far as God is concerned. The bubble keeps me from ever hiding from God. He sees me perfectly, He knows me perfectly, He acts perfectly in my life. He knows my thoughts before I think them. He knows what I am going to do before I do it. He knows the results after the fact. This really makes resistance futile with God. But still, I do play games with Him like I play games with everyone else.....kind of dumb when you think about it. I should have been a masquerade king. Never been to one of those parties; but could have fit in easily. I can change masks at the snap of a finger. I promise you....no one could ever figure who I am. I am a master at wearing masks. Guess I never have done those parties because for me, they seem boring. .... I have a short attention span and on top of that, it is all about me. I am sure no one else is cursed with that.....you know, being all about you.
With all the mask wearing and all the effort to cover up...I get lost in me and I get lost with others. Sadly, I get lost with God. The last thing I want to do is get lost with God and with those who care about me. But I still have this tendency to isolate and hide from everyone. A surrendered lifestyle is offensive to me. I want to be in control, I want to call my own shots. Yet I know when I allow Him to call the shots, He knows best and all works for the best. So why do I resist so much? Because I am a fighter. Life has trained me to be so and yet; He wants me to surrender. His plan is perfect and giving myself to that is the least path of resistance, but yet, I fight. Hard to let go of control even when you know you are guiding a sinking ship.
How has He dealt with me? With love and patience. I think of my daughter when she was an infant. She had colic. Never understood colic just knew the result. I would hold her in my arms as she writhed in pain and cried and screamed in pain. Tears would roll down my face because I wished it was me in pain and not her.....yet, I held her and that is all I could do.
When I get resistant to God, He does the same.....He holds me as I writhe against the pain I am feeling...even though I don't understand it. I realize He does. That's why He continues to hold me, patiently and lovingly. And I kick and scream and He holds me tight. He understands when no one else could. He doesn't give up when others would.....He just holds me....and I am grateful. What a mess I would truly be if God ever stopped holding me.
Perhaps you feel the same....you are resistant to change, you are a rebel, you don't like others telling you how to live your life....you hate the word: surrender. Let me assure you....He holds you, even when you writhe and wiggle to get loose of His grasp. He never lets go. You are precious to Him, and at your worst.....He holds on tighter.
So "hold me Jesus cause I'm shaking like a leaf....You have been King of my Glory, won't you be my Prince of Peace". (words borrowed from Rich Mullins' Hold Me Jesus)
Monday, November 2, 2009
Loving Brilliantly
I have always loved to color. Something about a book with outlines and a box of 64, or 120, or 9,000 crayons to choose from to make that special picture....priceless!!! OK, I lied about the 9,000 crayons...I don't think Wal-Mart carries those; maybe they don't exist. I am not sure, haven't colored in awhile. But I did color...when I was younger, and I loved it. And younger was like last year or something. Did I tell you I was 51? OK, so for a guy like me you may consider that therapy...maybe it was....I'm not saying.....I still enjoyed it!!
I got to thinking tonight about color. All the hues,.. some light,.. some dark,.. and some in-between. All of them are used to paint a picture; to tell a story. They reflect what we are thinking when we use them to fill in the lines. If we are thinking dark,... we may color a picture of say....Dracula in blacks, charcoals, and greys. If we are thinking light,... we may color a picture of say.....Snow White in bright blues, reds, and yellows....and,... why would we do that if her name is Snow White? Oh well, I think you get the point.
So I am thinking when Jesus was a boy...he had a coloring book. When he wasn't working in the shop with his dad, he would pull this coloring book out. And he would color. He would flip pages, and would stop.... and there would be an outline of... ME on the page. He would look and smile.....and start to color. Never would he use a dull pastel or any shade of grey or charcoal or even black; just color me in brilliant bright hues of color... he does this because he sees his children only in bright color.
These brilliant colors reflect his great love for me and what he knew he was going to for me and through me. He saw me in brilliant colors before he died for me! How does that happen?! Amazing, that's what that is!
My very best friend told me of a man who lived his life in greys, charcoals, and blacks. That was all he knew. He was miserable. He was at the end of his rope, he was hopeless.
Then Jesus came by. He had his coloring book. He flipped through the pages and found the outline of this man. Excitedly, he started rummaging through all the brilliant colors in his crayon box. Carefully he chose them one by one and then started to paint this dark mans' picture. He got so excited he colored outside the lines......and then started to laugh with joy! He flipped the picture over to the man and the man saw what he had never seen before. A NEW HIM!!
That's what Jesus does.....creates a new person with his coloring book and crayons. He never sees greys, charcoals, or blacks.....just brilliant hues of color that require sunglasses to view!!
He has given us a coloring book too...., and crayons. The box doesn't have any greys, charcoals, or blacks....just brilliant hues of color!! He says to us to go color the world with love.... brilliantly!!....enjoy.
I got to thinking tonight about color. All the hues,.. some light,.. some dark,.. and some in-between. All of them are used to paint a picture; to tell a story. They reflect what we are thinking when we use them to fill in the lines. If we are thinking dark,... we may color a picture of say....Dracula in blacks, charcoals, and greys. If we are thinking light,... we may color a picture of say.....Snow White in bright blues, reds, and yellows....and,... why would we do that if her name is Snow White? Oh well, I think you get the point.
So I am thinking when Jesus was a boy...he had a coloring book. When he wasn't working in the shop with his dad, he would pull this coloring book out. And he would color. He would flip pages, and would stop.... and there would be an outline of... ME on the page. He would look and smile.....and start to color. Never would he use a dull pastel or any shade of grey or charcoal or even black; just color me in brilliant bright hues of color... he does this because he sees his children only in bright color.
These brilliant colors reflect his great love for me and what he knew he was going to for me and through me. He saw me in brilliant colors before he died for me! How does that happen?! Amazing, that's what that is!
My very best friend told me of a man who lived his life in greys, charcoals, and blacks. That was all he knew. He was miserable. He was at the end of his rope, he was hopeless.
Then Jesus came by. He had his coloring book. He flipped through the pages and found the outline of this man. Excitedly, he started rummaging through all the brilliant colors in his crayon box. Carefully he chose them one by one and then started to paint this dark mans' picture. He got so excited he colored outside the lines......and then started to laugh with joy! He flipped the picture over to the man and the man saw what he had never seen before. A NEW HIM!!
That's what Jesus does.....creates a new person with his coloring book and crayons. He never sees greys, charcoals, or blacks.....just brilliant hues of color that require sunglasses to view!!
He has given us a coloring book too...., and crayons. The box doesn't have any greys, charcoals, or blacks....just brilliant hues of color!! He says to us to go color the world with love.... brilliantly!!....enjoy.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
My Car Got Attacked By a Goose!
I have seen enough Animal Planet shows to know the difference between an animal that can hurt you and an animal that doesn't even notice your presence when you're sharing the same neck of the woods. I have watched Shark Week and know the difference between a great white and a flounder . One can bite your head off with little effort and the other makes a good meal when cooked with just the right spices....ask me later and I will get you a great recipe..... But I am a little taken aback when the "harmless" ones turn violent and into predators.
My car got attacked by a goose! Let me elaborate.....
If you've read any previous posts you know I travel quite a bit. I was in El Reno, OK the other day and discovered El Reno lake. I had never been there before. I had some planning to do so I thought I would do it there and enjoy the scenery. I wasn't disappointed...a pretty little spot. The wind was nil so the lake was very tranquil, not so much as a ripple or wake. There were all kinds of different water fowl flying about and sporadically swooping down for a swim and something to eat. If I were an avid bird watcher, I am sure I would have cataloged (in that special notebook stuffed under the driver seat)... all the varieties of fowl with rabid excitement.
Then THEY came in for a landing.....a gaggle of Canadian geese,..... no,.... I mean a GAGGLE of Canadian geese; 40 to 50 I bet!
I had never seen synchronized anything much, except synchronized swimming on the Olympics and I was never very interested in that. It just always looked like a sport that wasn't really a sport to me..... and how do you judge that stuff anyway?! But on this day I witnessed synchronized flying; they all came down at once and landed in the water at the same time. I witnessed synchronized swimming (gaggle style).....they even shook the water off their tails at the same time and in the same direction. This would have won a gold in the Olympics I am sure. It was amazing. I witnessed an attempt at synchronized fishing but the gaggle was a little off on that.....more practice needed but still impressive all the same. Needless to say I was awed and intrigued at the whole display.
After a brief swim and a little food, they started moving toward shore to get out of the water..... and coming toward my car parked about fifteen feet from the bank. One in the rear must have had a motor tied to its tail because it passed all the others like they weren't swimming at all. It seemed to have a bead toward me! It never moved its head to the left or the right, just stared me down and came at my car!! I noticed too that this goose wasn't as good looking as the others. In fact, it was pretty homely looking....large but homely. This one wasn't like the ugly duckling that transformed into the beautiful and graceful swan. This one was born ugly and stayed that way. Perhaps that was the reason for the nasty disposition. Whatever the real reason for the attitude, it came out of the water emphatically weird and seemingly pissed off. And did I say it already? It was coming at my car!!
This one defiant goose waddled right up to my front tire and proceeded to peck at and bludgeon my hubcap. It wielded its beak like Thor's hammer. You could almost see it gritting its teeth as it pounded away....well, if a goose had teeth you could almost see that. And if it truly had teeth, I am sure there would have been bits and pieces of the rubber of my tire flying everywhere. It would have gnawed at my tire like a crocodile on a water buffalo.
And what would that thing have done to me, particularly my shins, had I not been inside the car? More importantly, had I been outside the car, would it have chased me around? Most importantly, if I had been outside the car and it chased me around, would I have screamed like a little girl? How emasculating would that have been?! The thought of that scenario makes me want to breathe in a paper bag to keep from hyperventilating!
Why was this goose so angry? Rough childhood? Dysfunctional family upbringing? Teased a lot at school? Always given "hand me downs", never bought anything new? Turned down one too many times by the ladies of the gaggle? Not allowed seconds at the dinner table? Full moon? I didn't really know about that one because this traumatizing incident happened in broad daylight. Definitely couldn't have been "little man syndrome" because this honker was huge! This goose most assuredly needed anger management classes and a support group!
What did I do? Absolutely nothing! I just sat there wishing my personal nurse was with me taking my blood pressure and heart rate to ensure my pulmonary muscle wasn't going to explode out of my chest! And as soon as that thought entered and cleared my mind, the pounding quit and it got eerily quiet. I crushed my face as hard as I could against the side window and looked down to see what the waddler was up to. Imagine my relief when all I saw was its rear end waddling away from my car. Had it arms instead of wings, it would have been beating its chest as it left; maybe with a few marine grunts thrown in for emphasis.
I waited until it was well out of view and then proceeded out of the car to assess the destruction. Surprisingly the damage was minimal. The hubcap was covered in goose spit mixed with half eaten berries and pieces of underwater plant life. My hubcap survived the ruthless beating and gave new meaning to the phrase, "Ford Tough"......I drive a Taurus.
So much for tranquil beauty and peaceful planning. I started my quivering vehicle and drove off. It was time to move on anyway.....So tell me.....how was your day?
I usually try to envision some kind of anecdote to go along with what I write and the only thing I can come up with here is: Never park your car near an angry goose.
(This might make acceptable copy if it were word for word totally true, but there may have been an embellishment or two added....however, I have hopes to get it published in Liar's Monthly)
My car got attacked by a goose! Let me elaborate.....
If you've read any previous posts you know I travel quite a bit. I was in El Reno, OK the other day and discovered El Reno lake. I had never been there before. I had some planning to do so I thought I would do it there and enjoy the scenery. I wasn't disappointed...a pretty little spot. The wind was nil so the lake was very tranquil, not so much as a ripple or wake. There were all kinds of different water fowl flying about and sporadically swooping down for a swim and something to eat. If I were an avid bird watcher, I am sure I would have cataloged (in that special notebook stuffed under the driver seat)... all the varieties of fowl with rabid excitement.
Then THEY came in for a landing.....a gaggle of Canadian geese,..... no,.... I mean a GAGGLE of Canadian geese; 40 to 50 I bet!
I had never seen synchronized anything much, except synchronized swimming on the Olympics and I was never very interested in that. It just always looked like a sport that wasn't really a sport to me..... and how do you judge that stuff anyway?! But on this day I witnessed synchronized flying; they all came down at once and landed in the water at the same time. I witnessed synchronized swimming (gaggle style).....they even shook the water off their tails at the same time and in the same direction. This would have won a gold in the Olympics I am sure. It was amazing. I witnessed an attempt at synchronized fishing but the gaggle was a little off on that.....more practice needed but still impressive all the same. Needless to say I was awed and intrigued at the whole display.
After a brief swim and a little food, they started moving toward shore to get out of the water..... and coming toward my car parked about fifteen feet from the bank. One in the rear must have had a motor tied to its tail because it passed all the others like they weren't swimming at all. It seemed to have a bead toward me! It never moved its head to the left or the right, just stared me down and came at my car!! I noticed too that this goose wasn't as good looking as the others. In fact, it was pretty homely looking....large but homely. This one wasn't like the ugly duckling that transformed into the beautiful and graceful swan. This one was born ugly and stayed that way. Perhaps that was the reason for the nasty disposition. Whatever the real reason for the attitude, it came out of the water emphatically weird and seemingly pissed off. And did I say it already? It was coming at my car!!
This one defiant goose waddled right up to my front tire and proceeded to peck at and bludgeon my hubcap. It wielded its beak like Thor's hammer. You could almost see it gritting its teeth as it pounded away....well, if a goose had teeth you could almost see that. And if it truly had teeth, I am sure there would have been bits and pieces of the rubber of my tire flying everywhere. It would have gnawed at my tire like a crocodile on a water buffalo.
And what would that thing have done to me, particularly my shins, had I not been inside the car? More importantly, had I been outside the car, would it have chased me around? Most importantly, if I had been outside the car and it chased me around, would I have screamed like a little girl? How emasculating would that have been?! The thought of that scenario makes me want to breathe in a paper bag to keep from hyperventilating!
Why was this goose so angry? Rough childhood? Dysfunctional family upbringing? Teased a lot at school? Always given "hand me downs", never bought anything new? Turned down one too many times by the ladies of the gaggle? Not allowed seconds at the dinner table? Full moon? I didn't really know about that one because this traumatizing incident happened in broad daylight. Definitely couldn't have been "little man syndrome" because this honker was huge! This goose most assuredly needed anger management classes and a support group!
What did I do? Absolutely nothing! I just sat there wishing my personal nurse was with me taking my blood pressure and heart rate to ensure my pulmonary muscle wasn't going to explode out of my chest! And as soon as that thought entered and cleared my mind, the pounding quit and it got eerily quiet. I crushed my face as hard as I could against the side window and looked down to see what the waddler was up to. Imagine my relief when all I saw was its rear end waddling away from my car. Had it arms instead of wings, it would have been beating its chest as it left; maybe with a few marine grunts thrown in for emphasis.
I waited until it was well out of view and then proceeded out of the car to assess the destruction. Surprisingly the damage was minimal. The hubcap was covered in goose spit mixed with half eaten berries and pieces of underwater plant life. My hubcap survived the ruthless beating and gave new meaning to the phrase, "Ford Tough"......I drive a Taurus.
So much for tranquil beauty and peaceful planning. I started my quivering vehicle and drove off. It was time to move on anyway.....So tell me.....how was your day?
I usually try to envision some kind of anecdote to go along with what I write and the only thing I can come up with here is: Never park your car near an angry goose.
(This might make acceptable copy if it were word for word totally true, but there may have been an embellishment or two added....however, I have hopes to get it published in Liar's Monthly)
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sucker for a Sappy Love Song
I love music. I have always loved music....love to listen to it and love to sing it; whether it be to the radio, in the shower, or behind a microphone at church or karaoke. Karaoke is cool because you can sing a rock song and be popular for about five minutes....if you sing on key.
I listen to many genres of music: pop, rock, christian.....which today has every other category of music just with the word christian in front of it; but I am not sure about christian classical?....., blues, classical, R&B, country....well, I think I have one country cd in my collection and listened to it once just so I can say I listen to country...., and JAZZ...the music of cool. Jazz music is sophisticated...the kind of music you read to, write to, wear a cardigan with and smoke a pipe to....jazz expresses what cool is....you may disagree but then you would be wrong.
But one type of song (in any genre) I have always been a sucker for is a sappy love song. They conjure up the gamut of emotions that often accompany being in love with someone. If you are happy in your relationship you might listen to Jason Mraz sing "Lucky", if you are sad you may listen to Toni Braxton sing "Another Sad Love Song". Just broke up with someone? Phil Collins' "Separate Lives" or Chicago's "Look Away" will make you cry. At whatever stage you are in your relationship with your significant other you can find a love song that relates. And somehow that song in that moment has powerful meaning; almost a life of its own.
I wonder if Jesus were here today would he listen to the radio? I think he would be a music lover. If his first love, the church, is going to be his bride in heaven, would that make the church his fiance while here on earth? I don't doubt that the church has put him through the myriad of emotions that love puts us through. She has been poignant, uplifting to many, used as an instrument of hope and love, and yet; has also been divided, has erred in faithfulness, and has put undue chains on people trying to break free from chains they already carry.
So perhaps there are songs he would hear that would touch him regarding his first love. Natalie Cole's "This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)" or Lionel Richie's "Endless Love" would remind him of his commitment to her. Should she ever feel abandoned, Lady Antebellum's "Never Alone" would underscore his promise to be constantly present with her. When she questions her commitment to him, he might get emotional when he hears Anita Baker's "You Belong to Me" or Sade's "Nothing Can Come Between Us".
When he hears The Fray sing "She Is" he taps his thumb to the beat against the steering wheel, smiles, and thinks how he can't wait to make her his bride....
When he hears Hootie and the Blowfish sing "Let Her Cry" , he remembers when she has stumbled and fallen; yet, he still loves her. He hears Casting Crowns sing "Somewhere in the Middle" and thinks of when she is complacent. Foolish Things sing "Find Your Way Back" or Building 429 sings " The Space In Between Us"and he ponders on all the times she has strayed from him. When Big Daddy Weave sings Rich Mullins' "Hold Me Jesus"...he just wants to wrap his arms around her again and again and again.....my, my how Jesus is so in love with his bride to be!
For all her faults, imperfections, triumphs, and failures he is head over heels in love with her and perhaps music would remind him of that just as music moves most of us emotionally.
Then.... he finds a jazz station.....no words, just music.....but it touches him the most in thinking of his love. Why? you may ask.... Simply because of the way jazz is built. Jazz is but a simple melodious tune played over and over in all kinds of variations. If you stacked one variation of the original tune on top of another, the song would have no ending.....it would just keep playing. It gives him repose to think of all the things his forthcoming bride is to him....he loved her enough to die for her....she has tested him over and over and yet his love for her never stops....just like an endless jazz tune....
At the end of the day he talks with his Father....I can almost hear him quietly whisper, "Dad, I know you have the time appointed for us to wed. No pressure....but I am so in love with her....make it soon Dad, please make it soon.....I am in a hurry"....
I listen to many genres of music: pop, rock, christian.....which today has every other category of music just with the word christian in front of it; but I am not sure about christian classical?....., blues, classical, R&B, country....well, I think I have one country cd in my collection and listened to it once just so I can say I listen to country...., and JAZZ...the music of cool. Jazz music is sophisticated...the kind of music you read to, write to, wear a cardigan with and smoke a pipe to....jazz expresses what cool is....you may disagree but then you would be wrong.
But one type of song (in any genre) I have always been a sucker for is a sappy love song. They conjure up the gamut of emotions that often accompany being in love with someone. If you are happy in your relationship you might listen to Jason Mraz sing "Lucky", if you are sad you may listen to Toni Braxton sing "Another Sad Love Song". Just broke up with someone? Phil Collins' "Separate Lives" or Chicago's "Look Away" will make you cry. At whatever stage you are in your relationship with your significant other you can find a love song that relates. And somehow that song in that moment has powerful meaning; almost a life of its own.
I wonder if Jesus were here today would he listen to the radio? I think he would be a music lover. If his first love, the church, is going to be his bride in heaven, would that make the church his fiance while here on earth? I don't doubt that the church has put him through the myriad of emotions that love puts us through. She has been poignant, uplifting to many, used as an instrument of hope and love, and yet; has also been divided, has erred in faithfulness, and has put undue chains on people trying to break free from chains they already carry.
So perhaps there are songs he would hear that would touch him regarding his first love. Natalie Cole's "This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)" or Lionel Richie's "Endless Love" would remind him of his commitment to her. Should she ever feel abandoned, Lady Antebellum's "Never Alone" would underscore his promise to be constantly present with her. When she questions her commitment to him, he might get emotional when he hears Anita Baker's "You Belong to Me" or Sade's "Nothing Can Come Between Us".
When he hears The Fray sing "She Is" he taps his thumb to the beat against the steering wheel, smiles, and thinks how he can't wait to make her his bride....
When he hears Hootie and the Blowfish sing "Let Her Cry" , he remembers when she has stumbled and fallen; yet, he still loves her. He hears Casting Crowns sing "Somewhere in the Middle" and thinks of when she is complacent. Foolish Things sing "Find Your Way Back" or Building 429 sings " The Space In Between Us"and he ponders on all the times she has strayed from him. When Big Daddy Weave sings Rich Mullins' "Hold Me Jesus"...he just wants to wrap his arms around her again and again and again.....my, my how Jesus is so in love with his bride to be!
For all her faults, imperfections, triumphs, and failures he is head over heels in love with her and perhaps music would remind him of that just as music moves most of us emotionally.
Then.... he finds a jazz station.....no words, just music.....but it touches him the most in thinking of his love. Why? you may ask.... Simply because of the way jazz is built. Jazz is but a simple melodious tune played over and over in all kinds of variations. If you stacked one variation of the original tune on top of another, the song would have no ending.....it would just keep playing. It gives him repose to think of all the things his forthcoming bride is to him....he loved her enough to die for her....she has tested him over and over and yet his love for her never stops....just like an endless jazz tune....
At the end of the day he talks with his Father....I can almost hear him quietly whisper, "Dad, I know you have the time appointed for us to wed. No pressure....but I am so in love with her....make it soon Dad, please make it soon.....I am in a hurry"....
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Random Thoughts About Anything, About Nothing
I heard a long time ago, and it recently was reiterated, that if you want to be a writer you need to practice your craft every day. Well, believe it or not, I aspire to be a writer; so in pursuit of that dream I am constantly thinking about stuff to write. Sometimes an idea gets stuck in my head and goes nowhere and serves no purpose except to give me a headache or kill off another brain cell which, truthfully, I can't afford to lose at my age. So this post is more for the purposes of eliminating the excess leftover junk in my brain so I can move on.....maybe some of it will be worth reading.....or not.
Success
I recently heard an author speak on his newest book. He was pleasently self-deprecating, almost comedic. It was endearing and made him human. Then I thought: It's easy to be self-deprecating when you're successful. Being self-deprecating when you are not successful may just be the sad, sad truth.
Money
My very best friend and I often have conversations about money..it's place, it's purpose, the corruption often tied with it, and the impossibility of living without it. These conversations are stimulating to me, perhaps because we come from two ends of the slide rule in terms of financial stability and yet have simular views on the need and usage of the green stuff.
It seems to me that anytime Jesus was around a rich person he was telling them to go sell their stuff and give the money to the poor and walk with him. He also pointed out the difference between giving out of our excess and out of our need. I don't think he was opposed to money. I think he was getting at a heart attachment, an attitude. He himself said that where our treasure is, that is where we would find our heart.
I have dear friends who believe that if they are not rolling in the dough they somehow are not living it right as far as Jesus is concerned. After all doesn't the abundant life involve a healthy checking account? I get confused with this thinking because everywhere I see Jesus himself talking about money, it's in terms of giving it away not accquiring it.
I often think if I had alot of money, I wouldn't have alot of money because I would give it all away. I think this is a noble and good thought and it is easy to say when you don't have alot of money. If I actually had alot of money would I really be that generous? I like to think I would be, but that won't be known until I cross the bridge of wealth.....so far I haven't truly been tested in that area.
I stick with the heart attachment thing. Not a sin to be rich or poor, may be a sin to be so money driven or anything else driven that one has no place for God in their life. This is what I think Jesus was trying to teach. Lastly, I don't think Jesus would have made a very good accountant.
Jesus and Politics
I know people who actually believe that if Jesus were here today and a part of the American voting public, he would be Republican right down the line. Putting "Jesus" and the "American voting public" in the same sentence makes me a touch uncomfortable; add the word Republican and I start to shake and I am a Republican.
I am not sure Jesus would be affiliated with any political party. If I were Jesus, I would have an aversion to politics anyway.....wasn't it really politics that got him crucified? I don't think Jesus would be concerned with any party agenda either. If he did vote for anything, he would probably write in on the ballot everything he voted for. I think this because he knows everything and he knows we don't know what we need. He would write in the right things that need to be voted for because he knows exactly what we need.
This would disappoint many on the righteous right and he would probably be labeled a flaming liberal.
Christianity vs. Spirituality
I am not very good at following rules. I try to follow but I either misread or misunderstand them and eventually fall short. Alot of people of faith that I know seem to see their testimony wrapped up in how well they follow all the rules. Christianity is a series of codes and ethics and as long as they are adhered to, they are right with God and Jesus loves them. The problem I have with that is I don't think following any rule is what makes us righteous before God...I am pretty sure that being righteous centers on Jesus in us....period. The old saying, "Rules were made to be broken", is true. All rules do is point out the impossibility of following them to the letter.
Sometimes I think when the world sees Christianity they see a series of rules. I am sure what they need to see is Jesus. Being spiritual to me means showing the face of Jesus to the world, not proving I can follow rules. People need Jesus, not another list of "do's" and "don't's".
My sister went to a christian concert and told me the lead guy made a statement something like this: "The world doesn't mind when a christian sins, the world minds when a christian sins but doesn't think he does." Holier than thou and self-righteousness seem to get caught up alot in christianity, therefore; I would rather just be human, honest with my shortcomings, and testify that Jesus, for all my faults, still likes me and that he loves the rest of the world just the same. To me, this is showing the world the face of Jesus.
Thanks for letting me clear out the cobwebs in the recesses of my mind. Now there is room for more clutter.....
Success
I recently heard an author speak on his newest book. He was pleasently self-deprecating, almost comedic. It was endearing and made him human. Then I thought: It's easy to be self-deprecating when you're successful. Being self-deprecating when you are not successful may just be the sad, sad truth.
Money
My very best friend and I often have conversations about money..it's place, it's purpose, the corruption often tied with it, and the impossibility of living without it. These conversations are stimulating to me, perhaps because we come from two ends of the slide rule in terms of financial stability and yet have simular views on the need and usage of the green stuff.
It seems to me that anytime Jesus was around a rich person he was telling them to go sell their stuff and give the money to the poor and walk with him. He also pointed out the difference between giving out of our excess and out of our need. I don't think he was opposed to money. I think he was getting at a heart attachment, an attitude. He himself said that where our treasure is, that is where we would find our heart.
I have dear friends who believe that if they are not rolling in the dough they somehow are not living it right as far as Jesus is concerned. After all doesn't the abundant life involve a healthy checking account? I get confused with this thinking because everywhere I see Jesus himself talking about money, it's in terms of giving it away not accquiring it.
I often think if I had alot of money, I wouldn't have alot of money because I would give it all away. I think this is a noble and good thought and it is easy to say when you don't have alot of money. If I actually had alot of money would I really be that generous? I like to think I would be, but that won't be known until I cross the bridge of wealth.....so far I haven't truly been tested in that area.
I stick with the heart attachment thing. Not a sin to be rich or poor, may be a sin to be so money driven or anything else driven that one has no place for God in their life. This is what I think Jesus was trying to teach. Lastly, I don't think Jesus would have made a very good accountant.
Jesus and Politics
I know people who actually believe that if Jesus were here today and a part of the American voting public, he would be Republican right down the line. Putting "Jesus" and the "American voting public" in the same sentence makes me a touch uncomfortable; add the word Republican and I start to shake and I am a Republican.
I am not sure Jesus would be affiliated with any political party. If I were Jesus, I would have an aversion to politics anyway.....wasn't it really politics that got him crucified? I don't think Jesus would be concerned with any party agenda either. If he did vote for anything, he would probably write in on the ballot everything he voted for. I think this because he knows everything and he knows we don't know what we need. He would write in the right things that need to be voted for because he knows exactly what we need.
This would disappoint many on the righteous right and he would probably be labeled a flaming liberal.
Christianity vs. Spirituality
I am not very good at following rules. I try to follow but I either misread or misunderstand them and eventually fall short. Alot of people of faith that I know seem to see their testimony wrapped up in how well they follow all the rules. Christianity is a series of codes and ethics and as long as they are adhered to, they are right with God and Jesus loves them. The problem I have with that is I don't think following any rule is what makes us righteous before God...I am pretty sure that being righteous centers on Jesus in us....period. The old saying, "Rules were made to be broken", is true. All rules do is point out the impossibility of following them to the letter.
Sometimes I think when the world sees Christianity they see a series of rules. I am sure what they need to see is Jesus. Being spiritual to me means showing the face of Jesus to the world, not proving I can follow rules. People need Jesus, not another list of "do's" and "don't's".
My sister went to a christian concert and told me the lead guy made a statement something like this: "The world doesn't mind when a christian sins, the world minds when a christian sins but doesn't think he does." Holier than thou and self-righteousness seem to get caught up alot in christianity, therefore; I would rather just be human, honest with my shortcomings, and testify that Jesus, for all my faults, still likes me and that he loves the rest of the world just the same. To me, this is showing the world the face of Jesus.
Thanks for letting me clear out the cobwebs in the recesses of my mind. Now there is room for more clutter.....
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