Coming Home

"So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him."
-Lk. 15:20 NLT

For me, this is the sweetest verse in all of scripture. Oh, I have a lot of favorites but this one has very special meaning. I have lived this verse, I have experienced first hand and I know it is so very true. My post today is going to be more revealing and intimate personally than posts prior. Bear with me, it needs telling....

I am a believer who struggles with alcohol. I didn't start out with that struggle but through adverse circumstances, alcohol became a regular part of my life for several years. Rather than choose to turn to the God who loves me and comforts me in difficult times, I chose instead the comfort of a drunken state. Alcohol numbed me to what I thought was the worthlessness of my life. I didn't deserve a father's love because I was a failure. I never reached any goal I had ever set for myself and I could hear the "whispers" of what I thought were criticisms and disgust from friends and family behind my back. I felt useless and just wanted to self-destruct. I thought my life was over. I was just a heart beating in a shell of a man with absolutely no purpose, no future, and no hope. The kicker: I was a child of God.

The more I drank, the more jobs I lost, the more traffic records I acquired, strained relationships, frustrated family members, hurt after hurt after hurt....just an endless cycle of despair, shame, and guilt. I was in the pig pen fighting the hogs for husks to eat. The problem is at the time I didn't see where I was very clearly. I was too proud to admit I needed help, too ashamed to lean on anyone else, and so miserable...that happiness was something I thought would never be experienced in my life....I was a man without hope.

One morning I woke to find myself handcuffed to a metal bench in the psych ward of a Texas panhandle hospital. A counselor was going to determine if I needed to be admitted and forced into rehab. There was something different about him....he was a child of God. I poured my life's story out to him, my dreams, my goals, my hopes, my failures, my shame, my guilt,....to the point that after I finished talking and crying, I felt just empty of all the junk I had been carrying. He told the police to take me home after we prayed together. It was that day I decided to get out of the pig pen and make my journey home.

The journey was very long, it wasn't my last bout with alcohol but I was on the way. There were friends and family along the way who helped and with each step toward home a chain here and there would drop. There were times along the way I would think I couldn't make it, how would I be received when I got there, what about all the debris I created of my life and in the lives of those I hurt...I was still filled with fear but I was still walking toward home. I started reading the word again, going to celebrate recovery meetings, praying, attending church, getting involved in the lives of other hurting people, and I was healing....

Then my Father, who was waiting and watching on the front porch saw me coming and before I could get there....I saw Him running to me. There was no whip in his hand, only arms outstretched....and when He got to me, He took me into His powerful and loving embrace and kissed me.....how powerful the act of forgiveness is and how cleansing! Yes, this is the sweetest verse in all of scripture.

I am grateful for a mom and dad who always believed, for brothers and a sister who never stopped praying, for a son and daughter who never gave up on me, and for dear friends who, when I stumbled, helped me get back up. Make no mistake I still struggle, I still stumble but I am home surrounded with a host of help. Praise God.

People often ask me why I get so emotional when I share my story and I always respond: "Because I know the places I've been, the things I've done, and the people I've hurt and He has forgiven me anyway." How great and endless is His mercy! How vast is the sea of His forgiveness! How high and how deep is His compassion!

If you are in the pig pen today fighting for husks to eat, come home.....the calf is fattened, the robe is pressed, the rings are polished and there are a host of people and a loving Father waiting for you. Come home today....