You've Got a Friend

"There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother." -Proverbs 18:24 NLT

I have always been a huge follower of James Taylor. To this day I still get lost in all of the work he recorded decades ago. In 1971 he released an album,..... (yes....they were actual albums (vinyl) back then, real discs, huge discs requiring a turntable to play)....., entitled Mud Slide Slim and the Blue Horizon. It was the first James Taylor album I ever purchased. On that album was the song, You've Got a Friend. It swept the nation. A simple melody with endearing lyrics and sung in Taylor's laid back, easy-going, unforgettable style. You felt he was actually singing the song to you and if you had trouble and his phone number, you could call him up and he'd be right over!
I was in the 7th or 8th grade when that song released. I was also discovering and developing a singing style of my own. I loved that song and wanted to sing it so badly....but I wanted more importantly my voice to sound like James Taylor when I did. Sadly, my young voice was probably at least 2 octaves higher and I would have sounded more like Carole King, who actually wrote the song, than James Taylor. I didn't want to sound like Carole King singing, so I never sang You've Got a Friend....ever....well, maybe in the shower or my car, but never in front of an audience.
I think about what that song says and it actually reflects the central meaning of Proverbs 18:24... ..."There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother". The first part of 18:24 speaks of so called "friends" who dawn the mask of pretense. They appear to be "friends" but really aren't at all. When the party is on they are there with their arms around you, especially if you're the one buying. Such "friends" usually seek to take what they can get from you, not what they can do for you. Their pretentious masks are deceiving. They prey on the knowledge that as humans we all want and desire friendship, it truly is one of our basic needs. They will do what they can to take advantage of that before they are found out. They lull us to the point of complete trust and after we are spent, and there's nothing left to give, they disappear under the cover of night and we don't even know they're gone until the sun rises.
I look at the last part of 18:24, the main thought of the verse, and ask," How does one determine the false friend from the true friend?" My only answer is this: real friends can be discovered by how they respond when our circumstances are less than positive. When my world is caving in, falling apart, shattered, when all hell is breaking loose in my life.....real friends show up, they stand with me, sit with me, pick me up when I've fallen, clean me up when I'm dirty. They feed me if I'm hungry, pour in the oil and the wine of healing when I'm sick, encourage me when I'm so depressed the only thing I look forward to is death. Regardless of how adverse the circumstances in my life or how ugly my life has become, real friends stay...they don't run away....they stay.
My best friend, (I will call The One Who Should Have Always Been) has been with me when my circumstances were dismal, hopeless.... she has seen loved ones and others walk out of my life because of the ugliness of it....and yet has stayed. At my very worst and lowest, The One Who Should Have Always Been has done nothing but love without the expectation of anything in return. She believed in me when no one else would, when no one else could. She poured her life into mine when it seemed I had no life at all. She looked beneath that turbulent layer of my life and saw a heart that beat for God....just like God! That's what best friends do....they see beyond the crap and focus on the real in your life, the good in your life, and they stay! She has become my significant other, a rock, a shelter where I can run and find acceptance, peace, and rest. Forever grateful to a merciful God I am for her!
I am also re-discovering friends from days gone by. I am remembering the bond then and finding that bond is still as strong today. Decades have passed and it amazes me how you can just pick up where you left off with a true friend. I know now that it has to be a God thing. I am facing uncertainty because of a layoff from work in February. About that same time I started re-connecting with these old friends....they were coming at me out of nowhere on facebook and I wondered why. It strangely makes sense in one way.....at the point where I was in need of a word of encouragement, where I needed significant someones to stand with me, pray for me, hold me up....God started bringing them in. It was like he was sending angels to minister to me. These are friends who, if I called, would come running...... just like James Taylor...if I had his phone number.
The sidebar here is I have been less consumed with and grinding my teeth to powder over finding a job. The encouragement I have received from these significant others has made me realize I don't go it alone. They are there walking with me and they will see to it I come through. That's what true friends do, they get you through. I am discovering how rich I truly am. I am grateful. I have true friends, real friends, and there are a host of them.
To all my true friends, old and new, thank you for selflessly pouring your life into mine, for making a bumpy trail smooth, for making me laugh when it would be so easy to cry, for pushing me forward when it would be so easy to quit. Thank you for believing in me! Thank you for not giving up on me!! May God find me as faithful a friend to you as you have been and continue to be to me. To you all, I love you!