You've lived a life of wild abandon. Party, party, party. You've always been the 'baron of the ball'. You've always had the resources to ensure your "friends" had more than their fill. It didn't matter whether it was at your mansion, your condo, your summer home, or your yacht...you had the stuff parties were made of. Alcohol, drugs from A to Z, and "paid for" women kept them coming back! As the Eagles song states, " You threw outrageous parties, you paid heavenly bills". You didn't care....you just so wanted to be liked, appreciated, and accepted....and you loved being the center of attention, constantly under a barrage of praise.
When I met you, I found you in a bed among a row of beds. Everything you owned was stuffed in a musty smelling army duffel bag. Your body still twitched from withdrawal. No clothes to dress "to the nines" in, no wallet to carry your wad of Benjamins, no Benjamins. Still in a fog, you wondered where your friends had gone. Wealth was stolen from your accounts by a crashing stock market; assets were seized by the IRS to cover your losses. Your mode of transportation was via your two feet instead of the four high priced power cars stored in your lavish garages. You were no longer a man of substance, influence, and power. Instead, simply a broken shell with empty hands.
I couldn't relate to your massive amounts of wealth or your lavish lifestyle for I had never lived on that end of the financial spectrum. I could, however; relate to losses brought about by addiction. I could relate to the tyranny of shame you exposed in every fiber of your being. I knew firsthand the overwhelming oppression of hopelessness. From those points of experience we had something to talk about. And we did.
Initially our conversations were awkward, even forced...but at least consistent. Eventually they became freer and more revealing and open. You shared your life with me, I shared my life with you. Your addictions developed out of a sense of need to be liked and accepted . You went to any length and spared no expense to get it. You confessed that apart from your money, you were nothing but a nerd. You used your wealth to "buy" your entourage. At the time it completed you, or so you thought. I shared with you that my alcohol addiction developed from a deep sense of despair and pain. I went to any length to drink that despair and pain away knowing it would return with greater vengeance. I pointed out that even though our addictions developed for different reasons, the results were the same: we both ended up broken shells with empty hands.
I took you to support groups for people like us. You heard from others stories of overcoming incredible odds. You heard stories of fighting the good fight of sobriety. You saw living testimonies of lives restored; filled with purpose. You saw people who were whole, people who could laugh again, people who were truly free. I shared with you that I thought people in such rooms were some of the bravest most courageous people I've ever met. We both were encouraged through them. Their hope strengthened ours, their faith deepened ours, and we both wanted all that they had.
Then you asked me a crucial question..."Who is your Higher Power?" In a flash, days of ministering in the church as a pastor flooded my mind. That familiar ache felt in my heart of the longing I still had to return to the pulpit someday pounded me like a hammer on an anvil. I turned to you and shared that my Higher Power was Jesus Christ. I told you that I believed him to be the one true Higher Power and that as I continued to grow in him, I continued to stay sober and deepen in my love of him and others. His grace toward me continues to set me free and that this same grace he has given me is available for you. You wanted to know more and I shared with you some of the deep parts of my life as a pastor, as a failure, as one fallen without hope. I explained to you that I came to realize that regardless how far I had fallen in life, his grace was there waiting to redeem me, restore me, renew me when I hit bottom....and he did. You asked me what to do to receive this grace. I explained that it was a very simple act of faith and that you receive the love and grace of the Lord Jesus as a gift. You said, "That's for me!" We prayed and you got up from your knees free, truly free.
Today you live in a small apartment, drive a used car, buy your clothes at second hand stores and discount shops, work for an hourly wage, attend a small country church, and you are happier and more fulfilled than you have ever been in your life. It blesses me to see you sober, to see you serving others, to see you so in love with Jesus. What you don't know is how you have ministered to and helped me. You see, my friend, helping you in your time of need really did much to bolster the sobriety I have. Putting my life into yours and being there for you helped me remember the things in life that are truly important. Such things cannot be bought no matter how much money you have in the bank. I thank you for that and will never forget you.
As you go about the ministry God has called you to, I would ask you to remember this saying: "You can't keep what you don't give away." It is a true saying I think. We are never more like Christ than when we reach into the life of another one hurting and help them heal. Always remember where you came from and what our loving Savior has done for you....and pass that forward.
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